One of the worst aspects of passive aggressive behavior -- and one reason that it is so effective -- is that positive behavior becomes easy to confuse with negative behavior, since the goal is to confuse cause and effect, to encourage inaction and to prevent interference.
And too often, when I complain to my friends and family, they just tell me to look past it, to ignore it. They claim I'm paranoid or looking too deeply into things. Actually, this isn't terrible advice: it's important to not get caught up in a bully's games, but sometimes they're really hard to ignore. I'm tired of doing nothing. So, I'm going to describe exactly how to do this to someone. This is how it happens. Personally, I'm amazed that some poeple are capable of this or that people could do this at all.
Yup, there really is A BOOK. And here it is. With great power comes great responsibility. Some people use this book as a kind of bible. $#@! those people. Here's a blog with a nice preview of the lovely teachings this book entails. You're going to want to buy this book and study it. To protect yourself from its great evils.